When Good Things Become Heavy: Learning to Abide
This topic is especially dear to my heart because I’ve recently been confronted with what it truly means to abide in Christ. For a long time, I heard that phrase in Scripture and assumed I understood it. Abide. It sounds simple enough. But in a season when the pressures of life felt intense, I realized I needed more than a definition; I needed to understand what abiding looks like in everyday life.
Maybe you’ve been there too: struggling to pray, finding it hard to study Scripture, feeling burned out, managing a full life with children, carrying the weight of family responsibilities, and trying to keep going while completely exhausted. This season of my life has been one of the most taxing I’ve experienced in years, and it has forced me to ask a deeper question: What does it really mean to remain in Christ when life feels heavy?
Scripture for Reflection
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
When I began thinking about the word abide again, I realized it was difficult for me to grasp—not because I didn’t understand the definition, but because I naturally measure things by input and output. And that mindset is the very opposite of abiding.
At its simplest, abiding means staying connected. It means remaining in Christ, not performing for Him. Where we often go wrong is when we confuse working for God with abiding in God. There is a difference between walking in obedience to an assignment God has given and striving to earn what He has already promised to provide.
We often think we need to work in order to abide. But when abiding becomes performance, we have stopped abiding.
For me, whenever I hear the words “abide in Me,” my first thought is often, What do I need to do? And that is exactly where the tension begins, because abiding is not first about doing, it is about remaining.
So the real question becomes this: Am I laboring in obedience, or am I laboring for something God has already promised to give?
When Good Things Become Heavy
I’m someone who loves learning, so I often take courses to grow in knowledge and understanding. Recently, I enrolled in a discipleship course while also starting a new job, caring for my family, and tending to my infant and teenage son. I would come home after work and join a video call that lasted for hours, while trying to put my daughter to bed. In that course, I did more listening than participating, for obvious reasons. And at the same time, I was trying to adjust to a new role and continue building my skills.
I remember feeling so exhausted that I barely had the energy to pray. I found myself wanting to pull back spiritually because I was depleted and confused. Everything I was doing was good, yet somehow I felt so depleted both physically and spiritually. What I didn’t realize at the time was that even good things can become heavy when they are carried by striving rather than abiding.
The Lesson God Began to Teach Me
Then one day, while I was watching The Chosen, I heard Jesus speak to His disciples about abiding in Him, and something in me stopped. That moment deeply resonated with me. I believe God used that scene to get my attention. After that, I started noticing the theme everywhere. I began meditating on that passage and studying it more carefully, asking the Lord to show me what abiding really looks like in this season.
What I am learning is that abiding is less about accomplishing more and more things and more about staying near. It looks like staying connected to Jesus, even when I can’t feel it. It looks like receiving His rest instead of demanding more from myself. It looks like trusting that fruit grows from connection and not pressure.
I want to suggest some practical ways to abide; these have helped me tremendously.
1. Spend time with a verse of scripture. Choose a short passage and sit with it throughout the day. Rather than rushing to finish a reading plan, ask yourself: What is God showing me through this verse?
2. Simple, honest prayers. Prayer doesn't have to be long or eloquent; talk to God about what's on your heart throughout the day. A simple “Lord, help me to trust you with what worries me today” is enough.
3. Stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Often God speaks quietly through reminders of scripture, words spoken in your heart, a sense of peace, conviction, or gentle promptings. Find time to slow down to notice what He may be drawing your attention to throughout the day.
Remember, abiding is not about accomplishing more for God. It’s about remaining close and connected so we can recognize His presence in the middle of everyday life.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, ESV®. Copyright ©2021 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers Inc.™ Used by permission. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
